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jackabbotsfakeleg · 24 days ago

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As Above, So Below I Chapter 4- Souvenir

Synopsis: You start the nightshift with Jack Abbot, and make good on that arrangement of yours, but not before learning just how much comfort you both find in darkness Pairing: Michael "Robby" Robinavitch x Fem!Reader and Jack Abbot x Fem!Reader Word count: 4k Warnings: Discussion of mental illness, suicide attempt, self-harm, mania, trauma, the existential dread of being alive, our favorite sad boys, dark humor, and some trauma. Some explicit references. 18+, MDNI A/N: This is the sad boy Jack Abbot intro and next chapter will be the explicit Jack Abbot smutfest. Work has been mentally exhausting this week, but if you want to get sad deep in your bones, read this while listening to “Souvenir” by Boygenius, and “Go Home” by Julien Baker. Thank you for reading, I appreciate every single one of you. Chapter 3 I Chapter 5

Chapter 4: Souvenir

Pulling thorns out of my palm Work a midnight surgery When you cut a hole into my skull Do you hate what you see like I do?

"You should stay." Robby extends the offer, words attached to an arm around your waist lips to your collarbone, and the promise to make you breakfast. Pancakes and coffee

“Next time.” You called an Uber, Pressed a kiss quickly to the corner of his mouth as he lingered in the doorway, and promised to text him that you got home safe. The decision to leave was fully rooted in fear. Not the fear that you’d want more, or that he’d change his mind. But the fear that if he looked at you long enough You’d tell him everything that makes it hard for you to be back here.

Didn’t get murdered by my uber driver.

Good. Wish you would have stayed.

Gotta ice my back.

Don’t even start.

Don’t miss me too much.

Too late.

The transition to the nightshift a few days later confirmed what you had known all along: This must be the place. A dark sense of humor; a group of misfits who prefer the moon over the sun; and a fast-paced, nothing-is-off-limits vibe.

You could have guessed, judging by the fact that John Shen was particularly fond of it. And you had been close friends for years. He had been shaped by 3am study sessions that ended in white castle burgers for breakfast, never met an emo night at Brillobox he didn't get dressed up for, and constantly argued about Kid A being a better Radiohead record than OK Computer. He was the poster-child for millennial purgatory - forced to exist in between Gen X and Gen Z, shoulder all the blame, and somehow look nonplussed while doing it. He had been in medical school at the same time you were doing your graduate program, lived in an apartment blocks from you, and had made it a point to be the guinea pig for any psychological assessment you needed to practice. He would volunteer in hopes that he could finally convince his conservative parents that he wasn't mentally ill for listening to My Chemical Romance, and he hoped that the assessments could "provide him papers" to explain his completely unbothered millennial personality. Neither of those two things happened, but he did make for a good wingman who could stitch up the gash in your knee after drunkenly parkouring over a fire hydrant in the Strip District. You kept in touch over the years, through trauma dumping and memes. He truly was one of the perks of returning--an actual no-bullshit platonic friend.

On the day you started nights, he waited for you outside of the hospital with another mystery Dunkin’, he of all people appreciating the establishment for what it was – an absolute dumpster fire.

"My wife!" He calls out to you, in a perfect Borat voice, arms outstretched, "You ready for nights?" "I'm so glad to see you, even if I still cannot imagine you as an attending." you graciously take the Dunkin from his hand, your finger flipping the badge on his chest, "most of my mismatched scars are from your shitty stitch-jobs" "First of all, how dare you" He laughs, swatting your hand away "you told me I did a great job. And second, I was drunk, and a medical student." “I really have missed you.” You smile, “And I really am looking forward to the change in scenery.” “The day shift is all suits and stiffs, and we’re absolutely unhinged.” "My kind of crowd. Any hot goss I should know?" You poke an elbow into his side, "Parker Ellis is our ride or die, and I’m still trying to assert dominance with Abbot, so if you see me giving him the cold shoulder, it's because I just want him to love and respect me."

Ellis was already at the nurses’ station when you both arrive, waiting on the day shift hand-off. You set your things down in your office before making your way back to the desk. “A welcome speech for our newest member?” Shen tips his drink towards Ellis. "Always remember the third rule of fight club," Ellis smiles, "just try your best and have fun." "I thought the third rule was that if it was your turn to bring snacks, bring enough for everyone" You correct her, “just happy to be here.” "I wouldn't jinx yourself" she adds, shaking her head, "the behavioral health beds are the star of the show on nights." "Honestly, I never met a five point bed restraint I didn't love" You shrug, "makes me nostalgic for prison." "Where's Abbot?" Shen asks "Haven’t seen him, but you know him, he'll probably just apparate out of a cauldron of bats." Ellis shrugs, rolling her eyes, "Still waiting on the hand off from Robby, but he's been swamped all day."

"Hey, one of you psych?" the charge nurse turns towards the three of you, phone to her ear, "Sounds like there's a patient on the roof.”

"Seriously?" your eyes wide, "how the fuck did a patient get on the roof?" You make your way towards the elevator. “Night shift starting off strong” Shen calls out after you ,”My money’s on Myrna” “Don’t worry she won’t jump” Ellis adds, like it’s comforting, “she just likes the wind in her hair.”

The elevator only goes so far before you’re forced to take the stairs. Three flights; 6 steps a piece. By the time you get to the door to the roof, you’re out of breath, a bolt of lightning shooting down your leg with each step.

You had seen someone jump one time. The descent of a body from a bridge. You hadn’t gotten there in time, hadn’t said the right thing, hadn’t reached out quick enough to stop them. You'll never forget it. and you still haven't found a way to squash the swell of emotions when you're reminded of it, Even now, tears burn your eyes as you shoulder the door to the roof open.

You expect to see something reminiscent of that traumatic memory a chance to make it right; A do over; a success story. And instead, you’re met with silence, the cool air against your cheeks, and Jack Abbot, standing too close to the edge.

“Oh, for fucks’ sake, this your idea of a joke?” You’re out of breath and annoyed. “Took you long enough” He doesn’t bother turning around to look at you, “although your bedside manner could use some work.” “This isn’t funny,” he hears it in your voice, and you quickly wipe your eyes on the back of your hand.

When he turns to face you, his expression has changed from amusement of landing a solid joke on your first night, to concern.

“Fuck, are you crying?”

“You jumping or what?" you ask moving closer to him, so that you’re shoulder to shoulder, "no time like the present."

"Well, it's not funny anymore if you're going to cry."

"I'm not crying"

"riiiigghhhtt" it's drawn out in disbelief

"I just have 'losing a patient to jumping off a roof' in my eye." you hit him in the shoulder, "thought maybe I’d get a do-over."

"ahh" he nods, "well fuck, I really fumbled that one. thought maybe I could get a laugh out of you, maybe a sarcastic plea not to do it, you know, some theatrics."

"Sorry I ruined your fun."

"Sorry I made you cry."

"You didn't make me cry," You correct him, "and if you tell anyone that you did, I will absolutely make you cry in front of everyone downstairs."

"Promise?" he smirks, "I could use some public humiliation to keep me humble."

"Of course you could, Doctor Abbot," you shake your head, rolling your eyes, "With your prolonged eye contact and minimal startle response, I bet you haven’t been humbled in a while."

"And? That a problem?” "I find it endearing" you nod, turning on your heel to walk back towards the door, "I will see you downstairs after you're done brooding up here"

"Hey Wheeler?" He calls back to you, “You still good on our arrangement? It is nights after all"

"Come to my office and find out?"

"We said not at work" he turns around to face you, eyes dark, voice low.

"You said not to let anyone at work find out," you correct him, smile on your face, opening the door, “I can be quiet.”

“With that mouth? Yeah, right.” he shakes his head

You close the door behind you and head back downstairs towards the elevator.

“I was just looking for you,” The elevator opens and Robby’s standing inside, “Jack up there?”

“Yes, just convinced him not to jump” You attempt to make a joke, wincing when you step inside.

“You okay?” He holds the door open.

“Yeah,” you lean your head back against the wall of the elevator, “rushed up here because a nurse said a patient was up here. I just need a minute.”

“You want me to take a look at it?” He steps back inside the elevator when you shake your head ‘no,’ the door closing behind him, and reaches out to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, “at least let me take a look at you.”

“You know the rules” You remind him, his face inches from yours.

“Fine,” he huffs, taking a step back from you, “I’ll be good.”

The elevator doors open again to reveal Abbot, standing with his arms folded across his chest.

“Really, Robinavitch?” He steps inside the elevator, in between the two of you, “not cool man.”

“I just happened to be in the elevator” Robby replies, hands up in front of him like he’s innocent, “she’s all yours.”

“I just love being objectified at 7pm in the evening, “you speak up, smirking

“I bet you fucking do” Abbot shakes his head, turning to Robby, “Was she this mouthy on day shift?”

“Worse” Robby adds, shrugging, “offered to blow me in her office”

“’Atta girl” Abbot looks to you and you roll your eyes, “I’ll be by for mine around 2am.”

The elevator doors open before you’re able to get a word in, the two of them exiting to find the rest of the night shift for hand off. You contemplate going after them, but instead, you watch the shift change play out, taking in the inside jokes between attendings and residents, trying to get a read on what you’ve gotten yourself into.

Ellis wasn’t lying when she said the behavioral health beds were the star of the show on nights.

The first consult came in less than an hour after your shift started

A 17-year-old boy, with a 7-inch laceration from wrist to elbow, reopened from over a week ago, deep enough to need stitches but not deep enough to accomplish his goal. He never stopped crying, not after the pain medications kicked in, not after his parents told him they loved him, not after his medications were adjusted, and not after you sat with him for over an hour reminding him that progress was not linear, and that engagement in self-harm is not a badge of weakness or failure.

The second consult came in fifteen minutes after that – a man initially thought to be unhoused, running naked through Schenley Park.

“Surprisingly not methamphetamines,” Abbot had noted, as you waited in the doorway, watching security staff strap him down into five-point restraints. He fought the entire way, the brute strength of mania alive and well, and you only got spit on once. Once he was down and treated to a cocktail of Haldol and Ativan, he informed you that he was Jesus Christ reincarnated and earned himself a ticket upstairs to the inpatient hospitalization, albeit not as far upstairs as he was hoping.

By the time the third, fourth, and fifth consults rolled around, you were on a first name basis with the security staff and night nurses. It was fast-paced but not unmanageable, nostalgic of the crisis contacts you were used to in prison, but with more reasonable and less manipulative patients. Here, the patients weren’t calling you nine kinds of bitch as you watch them insert a pen into their urethra just to get a trip to the hospital and some opiates. For the first time, since you left, it felt like you were actually addressing mental health concerns rather than attempting to manage behavior for secondary gain.

“You’re clearing psych beds faster than I can fill them,” Abbot barely looks up from the note he’s charting

“Just trying to up that patient satisfaction score,” You reply, “Not sure if any of them are lucid enough to fill out the survey but it’s the thought that counts.”

“Might just save my ass from another impromptu lecture from Gloria.” Abbot replies, a smile spreading across his face

“Is that a thank you?” You ask, raising an eyebrow, “wouldn’t hurt to hear you say it.”

“Thank you Doctor Wheeler” it’s drawn out and a little bit patronizing, but you’ll take the compliment.

You spend the next several hours rounding on the patients on the behavioral health unit, introducing yourself to the nursing staff and psychiatry resident covering nights—the medications to your therapy, and taking stock of the mental health resources on the unit. Everything is outdated, testing instruments, books—you name it, it’s likely from the 1980’s. And all of it was yours to manage, including the grant applications for research projects and the applications for additional budgeting for the fiscal year that had been piling up on your desk.

It’s nearly 5am when you’re interrupted by Jack entering your office without knocking. He sets down a sandwich on your desk before taking a seat on your couch. You look up from the note you’re working on and watch him. He looks tired, more disheveled than he did on the roof, but still manages to crack a smile the longer you look at him.

“Now who’s got the prolonged eye contact” He chuckles, nodding to the sandwich on your desk, “Have you eaten?”

“I was able to eat one solitary granola bar, while the guy in four was getting strapped down.” You nod, “what did you bring me?”

“A grilled cheese” He replies, a smug look on his face, clearly pleased with himself, “Had to fight a nurse for that, by the way. Figured we could share it.”

“I’m honored,” you split the sandwich, handing him the other half, “Rough night out there?”

“Fuck yeah” he nods, looking down at his hands, “feels like we were drowning there for a minute. And now I’m taking a 20-minute break while the dust settles.”

“A well-deserved twenty minutes” You agree, standing up to shut the blinds of your office, trying to block some of the fluorescent light out of your office, switching on your desk lamp, “better?”

“Perfect” He nods, a smirk appearing, “Now, about that conversation in the elevator.”

“Sorry, all the blow job appointments are 30 minutes” You shrug, leaning against the door, “just missed the window.”

“Bummer” he shakes his head, standing up, “Although, you were the one who said come to your office and find out”

“I did say that” you acknowledge, watching him close the space between you, eyes locked on yours the whole way, “Although you questioned my ability to be quiet”

“You don’t strike me as the quiet type.” his face inches from yours, his hands on either side of your head on the door.

Got him right where you want him, eyes on you, waiting for your next move.

Time to humble the man in front of you.

“Ohhh Jack” you moan, just loud enough that anyone walking by can probably hear you, “Just like that” He clamps his hand over your mouth, pushing your head against the door, a soft thud, his eyes wide.

“Jesus Christ” he whispers through gritted teeth, “are you fucking insane?”

You shake your head against his hand, raising an eyebrow when he doesn’t immediately uncover your mouth.

“You gonna be good if I let go?” He asks, only uncovering your mouth after you nod.

“That’s what you get” You poke your finger against his chest, “For making me run to the roof.”

The alarm on his watch beeps and he sighs in frustration –his 20 minutes are up

“Don’t ruin this” He shakes his head, the tiniest hint of a smile on his lips, “You want to get breakfast after work and then you can come to my place and be as loud as you want?”

“Perfect.” You duck under his arm, and open the door, “Pamela’s?”

“Fine, but the original location, not the shitty Oakland location.” He nods, exiting your office and back into the arms of the night shift.

You make it through the last two hours and it feels like you’ve been hit by a truck. The change in sleep-wake cycles has not been kind and while you’re not necessarily physically tired, your brain feels like oatmeal. The handoff of information to the psychology and psychiatry residents is the last thing on your to-do list, and after you rattle off the last of the orders and updates, you make your way outside, away from the noise. Shen and Ellis are the first to head out, both offering a high-five to you for surviving your first night shift. Jack is the last out, keys in his hand as he spots you.

“You ready?” He asks, “I’ll drive.”

You accept his offer and follow him to his car.

Pamela’s Diner is a Pittsburgh tradition—an absolute legend. Sure, they’ve got the same shit as every other restaurant, but if you’re trying to do it right, there is only one right order: Stuffed strawberry hotcakes and lyonnaise potatoes. It’s cash only, the grill looks like it probably has never been cleaned, and it slaps every. fucking. Time.

Abbot is more than happy to oblige your millennial personality trait of ordering ahead, and your food is ready by the time you two leave work and cross the 16th Street Bridge into the Strip District. You wouldn’t have pegged him --the attending with an affinity for isolation and darkness, as someone who would live here, one of the busiest neighborhoods in the city.

His apartment is similar to Robby’s--an open concept with natural light. There's one huge window in the living room overlooking the river, revealing a perfect view and the ability to maintain privacy. The decorations are minimal, aside from a few well-placed, and somewhat hidden military photos.

Something you had learned while working with veterans at the VA during practicum was that the celebratory photos and keepsakes rarely, if ever, existed without reminders of the trauma and destruction they had witnessed, and at times, had been a part of.

Sometimes it felt like they kept them as proof that it wasn’t all for nothing—the beacon of light in the swell of darkness.

His apartment felt relatively empty, enough furniture to give off the appearance someone lived here, but not enough to feel warm. This was a place to sleep, not a place to live.

You set the food down on the island in the kitchen, already tugging at the plastic knot at the top of the bag.

“I haven’t had this since I’ve been back” You’re the first to speak since entering the apartment.

“Yeah?” He asks, watching you open the containers, “You one of those people who think Pamela’s Is the be-all end-all of breakfast?”

"We cannot go any further if you are a Deluca’s stan." You narrow your eyes at him, handing him the Styrofoam container, which he accepts graciously "don't malign the lyonnaise potatoes in my presence."

“Wasn't expecting you to be this defensive about breakfast,” He laughs, retreating to the couch, “It’s incredibly arousing.”

"Mostly the hunger talking, but this sleep-wake cycle reset is no joke" You add, joining him “Wasn’t expecting to crash so hard.”

He lets you eat in silence. It's not uncomfortable or awkward, especially after talking to patients all night, but here you are, alone with Jack Abbot in his living room, full of pancakes, and fading quickly.

“Come on,” He stands up and nods towards the hallway, “You need a nap, in an actual bed.”

“I’m fine” You shake your head, “I promise. I did not come here to nap”

“you’re exhausted, and I could also use a nap.” He insists, disappearing down the hallway towards his bedroom

"This where the nightmares happen?" By the time you reach the doorway, he's already laying down, hands behind his head, eyes closed. He pats the spot next to him and you oblige.

"You think I'm dark and broody" He comments, a smile on his face, "what other assumptions have you made about me?"

"Not an assumption" you correct him, "that was an observation."

"Oh, come on, humor me. I did just buy you breakfast" he replies, "and even though I’m the one with the prolonged eye contact, you've been trying to get a read on me this entire time”

"Fair," you agree, "I just think you and I are very similar."

"Go on." He states, waiting for you to continue

"Not if you want to keep this thing all surface level bullshit and fun." you give him the opportunity for an out.

"Come on, kid."

"Trauma recognizes trauma" You add, “Why’d you get into emergency medicine?”

“Thought I’d be ready for a change after the years of trauma in the military,” he chuckles, “and instead I found comfort in running right back into the flames. It's a good distraction. It keeps my mind on the medicine and off some of the other stuff."

"Sure, surface level it seems like a commonsense decision to take your combat medic skills and apply them to a hospital," You agree, "but why the ER?"

"I like the fast pace, the comradery, and the distraction" He replies

"You're skirting around the big, bad, terrible thing" you counter, "It's deeper than that."

"I don't know." He’s quiet.

"You do know," you shake your head, "I'm guessing the thing that haunts you is the same thing that haunts me."

"You tell me then, if you've figured it out."

"You need to take all of that pain and suffering and make it useful." You hear him exhale when you say it, like he's been holding his breath the entire time, "I'm sure over time you habituate to a lot of it, to death, to losing patients. But that pain sticks around, and the deep fucking sadness? that sticks around too. So, you turn it around into something useful"

"A second chance at saving everyone I couldn't" He rubs a hand over his face, "what do you know about pain?"

"It didn't start when I was stabbed, it started long before that. And I still feel it. The pain, the sadness that's deep in my bones, the fear that nothing will ever change and the blind faith that it fucking has to. It's the pain and suffering of humanity. Of seeing the world for what it is and not being able to turn a blind eye to it. And it's the best fucking thing about me. And it's probably the best fucking thing about you too.”

“Like moths to a flame” he states, “you and I.”

Neither of you say anything else. Instead, he reaches for you, Pulls you into his side, Your head on his chest.

Sometimes you just need a person to be quiet with and sad next to

Tag list is open! @loud-mouph @dark-twisted-and-mechanical-mind @thebumbqueen @emilia-the-artist @boldlyherdream @felicisimor@eugene-emt-roe @i-mushi @andabuttonnose @moonlightmvrvel @miss-me-jack @dantemorenatalie @qardasngan@agreeewrites @aloudplace @painment @artsymaddie @d1n3e @damnitsthings @thicficbich1@readinwnoon @imagines-r-s @meowmeowyoongles @ikindier @katastrophic04 @lexibearsworld @luna-loves08 @herlovelykiss @all-by-myself98 @livingavilaloca @trustme3-13 @yourdaydreamerfan

Divider by @saradika-graphics

Last line is credited to Meg Fee, which has haunted me since the day that I read it on her blog

#the pitt #the pitt hbo #dr robby #jack abbot #michael robinavitch #dr abbot #dr robinavitch #shawn hatosy #the pitt fanfiction #the pitt fanfic #writing #jack abbot x reader #michael robinavitch x reader #jack abbot x you #jack abbot fanfic #dr abbot x reader #dr jack abbot x reader #dr robby x reader

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ms-demeanor · 5 months ago

Note

Hi! You’re in the LA area, right? I hope you and your family are okay.

Unrelatedly, I ran across a thread on Mastodon about Proton Mail, which I think you’ve talked about before, and was curious what you make of it / how credible it is: https://code4lib.social/@[email protected]/113838748729664639

I'm fine thanks! Worried about some friends but I'm good.

I think that thread is not incorrect, but is also bullshit.

Email protocols do not allow for 100% anonymous communication and never will, when Proton was subpoenaed for user data that ended up with some French climate activists getting prosecuted they were transparent about what was requested and updated their logging rules to store less data. *Starting* from the assumption that protonmail is supposed to be totally secure OR sells itself as totally secure is disingenuous.

The great thing about open source software is that you never have to trust a shithead CEO when they talk about what the software does. I get why people are angry at the CEO (I think the CEO is at least half wrong in that he is claiming that Republicans will challenge monopolies, but he's not wrong about the destructive corporatism of the Democratic party even if he is *in essence* wrong about which party is more likely to gesture in the direction of breaking up tech monopolies) but A) the thread says that proton's software is "opaque" and it just. Literally is not. and B) that thread links to another thread talking about how what proton is selling is trust and nope. They don't have to sell trust; you can see what their software does if you choose to investigate it, there's no need for trust when you can verify. What they're selling is transparency and from where i'm standing they are indeed quite transparent.

God. Imagine thinking that a zero trust service is selling trust.

So I think the argument that "protonmail actually isn't as secure as it claims" is bullshit that people bring up whenever they're mad at the company (whether they have legitimate reasons to be mad at the company or not).

For the record: you should never, ever, EVER treat email as a secret. Nothing you do over email is really secret because *the rules that allow email to function as a service* require at least some very sensitive information to be an open part of the protocol.

The Proton page on end to end encryption is *very* clear that it is the contents of your email messages that are encrypted, not your email as a whole, and in the image they use to illustrate this the parts of your email that *cannot* be made private (sender, recipient, subject line, time sent) are shown unencrypted:

They're not subtle about letting people know this. Nor are they quiet about the fact that replies to encrypted emails are not encrypted by default.

So the thread is *technically* correct in that all the security "holes" described reflect reality, but it's correct like saying "McDonald's says that you can eat their food for every meal and you'll put on ten pounds of muscle but ACTUALLY putting on ten pounds of muscle requires a huge amount of dedication and a very careful diet and a lot of resistance exercise" - like, I guess yeah that's what you have to do to put on ten pounds of muscle but where exactly was McDonald's making that claim? Did they actually make that claim or are general statements like "I'm Lovin' It" being misinterpreted in bad faith by people on the internet who are mad at something a CEO did?

So. Like. Yeah the CEO is being a shithead, the social media team made a pretty bad fuckup by doubling down on his shitheadery, the product still works as described, AND the thread discussing all of that is deeply annoying.

So.

I think this thread actually does a great job of explaining why I've never seen a "hackers for social justice" group that has lasted. This reminds me a LOT of when someone tried to say that you shouldn't use firefox because the former CEO was a homophobe. There are a lot of deeply shitty people who have made important contributions to our tech ecosystem and if we threw the baby out with the bathwater every time Notch from Minecraft ended up being Notch from minecraft you'd lock yourself out of a lot of really important tools. And this isn't the same as "buying harry potter merch funds transphobia" because it literally doesn't; especially with open source tools you can continue using the software and cheerfully hate the CEO because A) fuck that guy and B) what the fuck are you going to do about it, guy, this shit's encrypted.

I don't want to get too deeply into a discussion about what is or is not cancel culture, but what I'm seeing in that thread (and what I see coming up every time someone brings up the "But the French Climate Activists!" thing) is an attempt to prioritize political alignment over real-world utility. It's attempting to cancel a *genuinely useful tool* because someone involved in the development is an asshole.

By all means, don't give protonmail money if the CEO's trump-positive comments make you feel unsafe.

However: What service are you going to use that is as accessible and as secure to ensure that you actually *are* safe? There are alternatives out there. Do they actually do more than proton? Are they easier to use? Are they open source? One of the responses to that thread was "yeah, that dude seems shitty; i'd switch to another service if there was another one that I felt was as secure" and that's pretty much what I think the correct attitude is. (If you really, really still want to switch, Tuta has been the broadly recommended alternative to protonmail for years but at this point Proton has a suite of services that some users would need to replace, not just email)

IDK i think shit like this contributes to a lot of the bad kind of security nihilism where people are like "oh no, things will never be secure and even my scrappy little open source product is headed by an asshole, i may as well use google because everything sucks" when they should have the good kind of nihilism which is like "man, there are a lot of assholes out there and they're never going to stop being assholes; i'd better take proactive steps to act like the people who make tech stuff are assholes and operate from a better base of security at the start"

so the takeaways are:

Proton never claimed that anything but the message contents of your e2e encrypted messages are encrypted; as far as these things go, they do a pretty good job of being both secure and easy to use compared to other offerings.

Yeah the CEO is being kind of a shithead and I'm not a huge fan of that.

If you think the CEO is being a shithead and don't want to give the company your money, don't pay for their services, but the CEO being a shithead doesn't actually mean you can't trust their services; their services are literally built on zero trust, if the CEO literally wanted to hunt you down personally he wouldn't be any more able to decrypt your emails than he was before and he wouldn't be any more likely to respond to a subpoena than he was before (proton does respond to subpoenas when required but not otherwise; they've been compelled to produce more data in the last decade than before because law enforcement finally realized who they needed to yell at - one of the bigger issues here is the Swiss courts being more willing to grant subpoenas to international complainants than they were before)

The reason we don't go see hogwarts movies is because doing so gives JK money and that does actual real world harm; using firefox does not have an impact on Brendan Eich's ability to materially change the world. It is very weird that we're in a place where we're treating *open source encryption software that is simple enough for your grandma to use it* as though it is Orson Scott Card.

Sorry i'm still stuck on people thinking that proton, famously open source, is opaque, and that an encryption service with zero trust architecture is selling trust.

Anyway if you've ever got questions about security/privacy/whatever services privacyguides.org is a very reliable source.

OH I FIGURED OUT WHAT WAS BUGGING ME

There are a bunch of people discussing this talking about how the CEO's social media is what has made them feel unsafe and I'm going to be a dick here and say that facts don't care about your feelings.

The CEO saying stupid shit doesn't actually make you unsafe in a situation like this; if the CEO was a violent transphobe or aggressive racist or horribly misogynist that wouldn't actually make any of the users of the product less safe. That's why the SJ hacker stuff I've seen hasn't had much staying power; I think that groups that focus on making people feel included and welcome and safe to be themself within the group run into really big problems when there's a conflict between people in the group FEELING unsafe because of (genuinely important in many ways) cultural signifiers like political alignment and so in order to accommodate that feeling they end up doing things (like some kinds of collaboration/accountability practices, abandoning useful tools, WAY too much personal transparency and radical vulnerability for people who are doing crime shit) that ACTUALLY make them less safe.

The CEO being a shithead may make you feel bad, but moving to a less secure platform may actually be dangerous. One of these things can have a big impact on your life, and it is not the one that is happening on twitter.

Anyway. Email is inherently insecure and if you want a secure messaging tool use Signal.

If you are doing crime shit don't talk about it on the internet and DEFINITELY don't talk about it in any kind of unencrypted platform.

If you are a French climate activist who would like to not get arrested if Tuta gets a subpoena for data, use the email service in concert with tor and be cautious about senders/receivers and subject lines.

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melovrs · 10 months ago

Text

he isn’t the biggest fan of parties.

he could think of so many more things he could be doing other than mundanely chatting with acquaintances and friends-of-friends. the loud music and shitty drinks make him want to puke his guts out; being sociable was never one of his strong suits, after all.

yet, just as he’s about to leave, he comes across the girl of his dreams. the girl he had been crushing on for the longest time, the girl in his biology class, sitting on a beat up sofa.

his friend noticed his lingering gaze on you and interrogates.

“looks like someone’s caught your eye.”

he turned around, his ears tinged with a blush.

“it’s nothing like that.”

his friend snorted and walked off, presumably to talk to another group of people. with his friend gone, his gaze returned back to you. your face glowed despite the darkness of the room. fluorescent lights danced across the room, and chatter is amongst the crowd, yet all he could focus on was your beauty.

the thought of leaving the party has been abandoned, not when the girl of his dreams is right before him! he gathered himself up, realizing he was staring at you for far too long; long enough for you to possibly notice him. he turned on his heel and decided to get some water.

with a bottle of water, he returned to the same spot he was at, looking down at the floor, the ceiling, anywhere but to you. as he was fiddling with his hands, he felt a tap on his shoulder.

to his utter surprise, it was you, in the flesh. a shy smile was on your lips as you waved at him.

“hey, you’re in my biology class, right?”

you started the conversation, noticing how he froze up at your touch. he cleared his throat before responding.

"um, yeah, i think so."

he regrets his response immediately. 'i think so?’ what was he on about? he practically noticed you every time he walked into the lecture hall, your face radiant as always.

you smiled at his response.

"i was hoping you'd remember, or this would have been weird," you laugh awkwardly.

the silence between you two was eminent, and he was desperate to break it. before he could speak, though, you started.

"uh- how's the party going for you?"

he played with the water bottle in his hand.

"it's alright, i guess. i'm not a fan of parties, my friend just dragged me here, so..." he trailed off.

you nodded knowingly, agreeing with him.

"i'm the same as you too, i'm here just because my friend," you point over to the couch, "brought me here."

you softly laugh and lean closer to his body, your shoulders almost grazing. though the party is as loud as ever, and the lights are blinding, all he could feel was your arm leaning on his, your voice like a melody to his ears.

maybe he'll start going out to more parties, if it means you'll be there.

(hq) kageyama tobio, akaashi keiji, tsukishima kei, futakuchi kenji, ushijima wakatoshi, (wbk) sakura haruka, takiishi chika, togame jo, (bllk) itoshi rin, (post wc) kunigami rensuke, nagi seishiro, barou shouei

i've never been to a party in my LIFE so this is probably super inaccurate jsjsdjfj pls be nice !! i was listening to cherry wine by grentperez then this idea came to me !! go listen !! (wbk debut YAY !!!)

thank you so much to @littlemissemeritus for beta reading i love u pooks 🥺🥺

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ohnopeh · 1 year ago

Text

i find it incredibly funny and telling seeing ian's reaction to mickey going to a hipster concert with his 'boyfriend'

he's there making faces and describing them looking at mickey as in 'this is everything you hate, are you for real?'

i love how his reaction is to laugh and not to feel jealous at mickey ''trying'' to ''fit in'' for the guy, cause he knows he's just doing that to keep the whole ''i've moved on'' thing going and byron. it also made me think how this is what ian did with his other relationships, trying so hard to be loved. he knows that doesn't work and that mickey isn't like that so he doesn't feel threatened by ian's poundland's version. but ian? ian had to listen to trevor's music, tried to be ''cool'' and go to the club cause trevor kept pushing himself over ian i'mnotafraidofanything gallagher.

i feel like ian's need to fit where people tell him to increased with s4 when he was maniac and away from his family. him being at the club, having ''regulars'' and parties (e.x. the one he went with mickey) he had this whole life that he didn't like but kept on shoving on himself cause he thought that's what he has to do to be loved. but then he's with mickey and s5 has him move on from that life as he's with someone who doesn't make him feel like he needs to try and pretend being someone else. s6 happens and the whole EMT is amazing but still, ian is still being used in ways (making caleb's father's angry + fucking a girl) so people want him just cause he fits with their needs and not what they can share together. its always ian giving to others. s7 with the whole trevor thing felt so awkward, he made ian feel like shit for not being up to date with every lgbtq term. trevor's group was basically this

despite that, ian was never enough. trevor kept telling him off and showing how cool and superior he is compared to ian. which is why i love how ian can see through mickey's bullshit, knowing that doing so its just trying too hard, not being genuine. its not what mickey and ian are. ''can't we just be ian and mickey?''

and i think that also reflects on s11 arc for them. ian wants to make the marrige work, he doesn't want mickey to regret it so he tries so hard, but by doing so they struggle to understand each others at first. they both want monogamy but a misunderstanding makes them both think the other wants to include people in their sex life. debbie and mickey point out that ian gets influenced by lip and that he doesn't have other friends. he thinks they seem it as something bad, something he needs to change. so what does he do? he decides that he and his husband are going to have gay friends and do the whole 'sex with others' thing. what's funny is that they both know they don't want that so what does ian do to convince mickey to tag along? he makes him jealous

''...who knows what will happen?'' and mickey sees through his bullshit

he's like ''are you really pulling this shit on me?'' so when he reminds ian what their decision was, ian tells him ''then i guess we should make some friends together.'' he tags along, they hang out with other gay people just like the ones trevor was friend with. but this time ian is comfortable saying that's not going to do it for him. but mickey? he's is a little shit and wants ian to learn a lesson so they stay till the night and all that shit. but THEN

they come back from the shitty hang out and mickey knows! he knows that ian finally understands. ian didn't have fun, ian didn't want to be with them, didn't want to force that lifestyle cause this time he's not with someone who's asking him to do that. ian even says

mickey's face is a clear ''no shit, sherlock.'' despite being himself with mickey, he's still struggling to accept that mickey wants ''all of the fucking versions of me.'' so he tries to force what he thinks will be the best for mickey, for them. which is also why he regrets getting the house on the west side after mickey's breakdown. he did sign the paper cause mickey was the first one to suggest checking it out, he knows that mickey deserves more than being a ''southside trash'' but he pushed it without giving mickey a chance to elaborate it. once ian finally realises that, he's willing to take a step back go back to where mickey is comfortable. this time though, mickey knows that ian is doing it for them and to show mickey his life is so much more than being what his father wanted him to become. and then the anniversary day? i have this headcanon that ian didn't say anything first because he wanted to check if mickey still cared about it, if he didn't regret getting married to ian. after a year together ian tried and 'failed' to make things work the way he thought they were supposed to be. is mickey still 'fucking crazy' for wanting that? so he waits, tries to remind him. they go to the alibi and ian has given up, he doesn't want to go out, he wants to go home and he's so desperate for mickey to remember their anniversary before the day ends. so he tells him but mickey reaction is anything but hurtful to ian. patting him on the shoulder and saying ''that's great.''

he must be thinking, 'this is the same person that fought so hard for us to get married, went all crazy over it and planned to kill his father for ruining it-- and now that we've hit the one year mark he's forgotten and just pat me on the shoulder?' cause ian knows what it feels like to be loved by mickey and he doesn't see it in that moment, he's scared.

the face he makes once he realises that he planned a big surprise for him, for them. for their love? its like he can finally breathe, they're okay, they're going to be okay. because they're ian and mickey and they love each other and go through everything together. ''thick and thin all that shit.''

and finally he knows he can stop trying so hard to fit somewhere he doesn't want to be, because he's loved for who he is, with all of his flaws that others made him think he wasn't worth the trouble. but just like ian makes mickey free, mickey himself makes ian feel free.

bonus 'mickey's ''no way i would forget about that'' expression.'

#okay so this post makes no sense #i just wanted to talk about whatever #so it starts in a way and ends randomly #but thats just my everyday brain #activity #shameless #gallavich #shameless us #mickey milkovich #ian gallagher #ian x mickey #meta

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olderthannetfic · 5 months ago

Note

www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/771823370694213632

You need the say the bit about the way canon treats characters way louder because I really think that the way the character is... framed, I guess? accounts for huge chunks of it.

I remember when the Disk Horse was about Finn vs. Kylo Ren from the Star Wars sequel trilogy and I got called racist for trying to point out that Finn was always framed as the comic relief/unserious by the canon. He has a character arc in the first movie, but his emotions and his trauma and his personality are mostly played for laughs (ha! ha! Black janitor guy is scared because he's a coward! - and him being a janitor is a change that came pretty late, he was originally meant to be the top of his class). OTOH Kylo Ren has the camera linger on his anguished face while sad music plays and he monologues about the moral conflicts that he's facing.

The average viewer/reader - especially in the case of visual media - doesn't really stop watching to form non-prejudiced independent opinions on every character (and really shouldn't if your narrative is well-constructed!), that'd take up too much of their mental bandwidth! They let themselves be guided by how things and people are framed, so of course they'd see Ren as Serious and Tragic and Finn as the funny guy, which is inherently less sexy to most people!

Same thing with F/F: when canon treats its women with any degree of complexity and gives them the sort of character traits that are conductive to blorbofication people are all over it!

My dash's been drowning in Rhaenycent for a year now, and that's a show that arguably sorta botched its female characters in the attempt to make them complex! But it doesn't matter, because they set up all these juicy dynamics and the fans are all over it!

Fans LOVE Claudia from IWTV even though the tragedy of her canonical role is that the guys always sideline her for each other.

I went to the Anora tag after seeing the movie and saw a bunch of Anora x reader fic in between the gifs the same way I did for Feyd Rautha from Dune or any other feral unhinged character fans love imagining themselves having sex with (and then blocked it lol).

Like, my taste in women and men is exactly the same but the large majority of characters that fit it are men, because we just don't get a lot of women who are composed, charming rogues on the outside and crippled traumatized messes on the inside, with a narrative that gives this sufficient weight, and also lets them be feral and unhinged. And I actually prefer minority characters because where I'm from I'm from a minority group myself, but again, most of them don't fit the bill personality-wise or framing-wise.

Fandom's a hobby and it's meant to be fun - I'm not gonna be constantly swimming uphill from what the canon is trying to present to me just because a character shares a demographic category with me. I think this is the case for most people, really.

My read on a lot of this is that people are sad about the status quo (fair) and are lying to themselves that the culprits are nearby where they can reach them.

If we confront the fact that the real source is the director or the cinematographer or the studio head, it all feels so much more insurmountable.

Of course, one can opt for niche, indie media, but a lot of people don't want to do that, so they fall back on this shitty coping mechanism of pretending that they can yell at the people around them and effect meaningful change.

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iskandersmuts · 2 years ago

Text

Diplomat's Party

Male Reader x Yuna

Tags: Smut, Yuna Smut, Sex, Blowjob, Creampie

My first attempt. I will be thankful with some feedback with anything.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

You see the man on the mirror. That’s you inside the bathroom talking to yourself for gaining courage. “You can do it.” You say. “You did this for the last year.” Finally, you hide again in one of the bathroom’s cabinets. One more time breathe in and breathe out. Is just matter of endure this feeling three more hours.

You leave the bathroom and start counting the hours. Right now is nine o’clock. You can leave freely this party at midnight. As your boss always says “Your job at parties is like being a Cinderella. You arrive show the best you have and before the worst parts of you appear you leave. Nobody wants to know how cool or shitty you are when you are bored or even worse drunk. So no one of you, the diplomats, can show that side. Remember we are representing a country.” He is right we can’t show some parts of ourselves.

But these parties are actually a pain in the ass. The most of the people are here for work. They are not resting. They are not having fun. They are trying to get some confidential information that will help their own interest or the interest of their countries. Is like an international convention of ass lickers, brownosers or whatever you call it. They gather together and start talking about nonsense: “Did you hear about that African president lecturing Macron about colonialism?” or “Did you see what this Bukele did with the cryptocurrency?” You just can’t say. “Of course, dumbass you know that every ass licker here read the same Foreign Affairs subscription that you read.” You just say whatever thing they also know “Yeah and it seems that IOSCO now has a project bill for cryptocurrency.” And then the questions start. “Do you have any notices on the votes of the draft resolution of the injunction… and blah blah” Just things that nobody cares about. Two years ago, you pleaded your boss to let you assist to this kind of events. And now is your third time a week in these events. You would prefer getting a massage with hot stones in your balls right now. But not everything is bad. In this field: the diplomacy. You must be really lucky to find a friend. And you were really lucky, your honest friend is Diego an Argentinian diplomat.

In this party at Lotte Hotel Diego does a sign asking you to leave the building and go to the yard. Both of you get outside and start talking.

“Dude, did you hear the big news?” Says Diego.

“Diego if is a diplomat thing I really don’t want to talk about that right now.” You say with your voice showing boredom.

“No is not that kind of thing. You know me. I don’t like to talk about that stuff too. Is about the party of tonight.”

“What? Someone find out about those two gay diplomats that are in a relationship?” You ask.

Diego laughs. “No not that. Something interesting. Korea has changed the main event of tonight!”

“That means that I’m not going to hear the fat lady singing AGAIN the fucking Madame Butterfly.” You say.

“Yes. And also, as they were looking for something new. Moon Jae In used his trick up his sleeve and contracted a kpop group.”

“WAIT WHAT? WHO? TELL ME!” You say almost shouting.

“Is a girl group. JYP…”

“Fucking Twice is coming? Oh my god! Really?”

“No not Twice a bit younger.”

“NMIXX? But they have few songs!” You say complaining.

“Not that younger.”

“ITZY? ARE YOU FUKING KIDDING ME?!”

“No. No. It’s for real. They are coming.”

You guessed correctly.

And now you are thinking: Finally, something good happened on these useless parties. And you are smiling in a weird way. You know is weird because Diego told you. And then you use your experience of these years to act the best you can. As a diplomat you can’t be a crazy fan even more as you are here actually “working”.

The girls finally arrive. All guests are invited to gather and enjoy the show. Itzy is on the scene they greet everybody. You notice that they are not cheerful as they are in concerts of world tours. They are trying to be mature. They start with “Dalla Dalla”. You resist the urge of fanchant with the song. When they end nobody claps. For the awkward situation they start immediately another song. It happens the same nobody claps or even cheers.

This situation reminds you the footage of Red Velvet presenting at North Korea. The public were all quiet. This was the same. These boring diplomats don’t celebrate anything. Yeji as the leader announces that they are going to perform the last song. “Cheshire”. You want to fanchant so bad. But you can’t. They nailed the last song; the others were good too. But in this song, you see that they are trying their best as is their last song and till now they didn’t get any response from the public. When the song ends you don’t resist the urge and you start clapping. The people around you look at you as a weirdo. But then Diego joins you and other Koreans too. Then everybody is forced to do it. You look at them. All the girls are smiling. You keep clapping and you stand up.

“That was nice, girls” you shout.

This time just some of the other guests joins. And the rest of them just look at you and the others as weirdos.

This moment was definitively the most memorable. Because you see the girls looking at the few ones clapping while smiling. They finally thank everybody and leave the scenario.

You start walking around the party just remembering the faces of the girls when they saw you clapping. Their expressions. They are shocked at first. They look at you and then start smiling. It was a rough night for them. But you did the night a little bit easier for them.

Now just some minutes till midnight. You made your job and you saw Itzy you deserve a fucking drink. So, you start walking towards the bar.

“Look that old geezer is trying to dance” Says someone.

You notice that this is the voice of a woman.

You laugh.

Someone appears in front of you looks you directly inside the eyes and says. “Are you laughing at us?”

You are caught off of guard. “No sorry I didn’t mean that. Is just that no one here uses that kind of word ‘old geezer’” You look at her face trying to know his name. “Omo. Sorry Chaeryeong-shi. I really didn’t mean to make fun of you.”

Chaeryeong looks at you. “Do you know my name? Finally, I thought nobody here knew who we are.” She pauses and continues. “And don’t worry I’m pretty sure that Ryujin-unnie doesn’t care if you laugh or not, right, unnie?”

“You are pretty damm right, Chae.” Says Ryujin. “Is just that the old geezer…” You start to laugh again while she continues. “looked really hilarious when he started dancing.”

You see that behind both, Ryujin and Chaeryeong, are the other members of the group. You are internally jumping so hard that maybe your head will hit the roof. But you try to keep your composure. “Nice to meet you all of you.” You look at your watch is just past midnight. Fuck it you are not “working” anymore. “I’m really a big fan of yours.”

The other girls gather around you when they see that you are talking with Ryujin. They stand up beside you. There it is Yuna with her scenary outfit.

While you are looking at her you try to avoid looking at her chest. Or at least pretend that you are not doing it. She is using baggy pants. You wanted to look her legs too. That’s too bad. But you are lucky enough to look her perfect flat belly. When she sees you, she just smiles at you. The other girls as Yuna are wearing also an scenary outfit all of them have a blue or sky blue piece. But Yuna is the one that caught your eye.

“You are not from here, right?” Asks Ryujin. Yeji gives a little slap on Ryujin’s arm. She is the leader indeed.

You are thinking. Thanks Ryujin. You saved me. I owe you one. It was getting weird because I was looking Yuna for too long.

“Yes yes. I’m not from here. I’m a diplomat assigned here at Korea, Ryujin-shi.”

“You are a diplomat?” Asks Lia. “I always thought that diplomats were old men.”

You answer. “Well the ones that appear on television they are. And maybe as they are the most known for the public you think that. But actually in my country if you do the right things. You can start as a diplomat at 23 years old.”

“Yeah you look kind of young. But here the most of them are old geezers.” Says Ryujin. You laugh. “I thought that the reason why nobody clapped was that they are old geezers. But maybe is because they do what you do.”

“Well. Yeah the most of the times the show is a snob thing. Like opera or traditional theather.”

Ryujin interrupts you. “What thing? What did you say?”

Yuna starts laughing. You answer Ryujin. “See your maknae here knows what I said. Yuna-shi would you mind explaining her?”

Yuna looks at you. Doubtful starts speaking. “Snob is like people that likes fancy things just because they want to be different. Right?” She looks at you.

You are melting. The eyes of your Itzy’s bias are looking right at you.

“Yeah… Is just like that, Yuna-shi.” You answer. “The people here like that kind of things. Kind of unique or least popular. The people around here think that the things that they are discussing are the most important things ever. They are so full of themselves.”

“And… You are here... So, you too?” Asks Yuna looking you again.

You smile. “I hope I don’t. Maybe I would be just like them if I answer that. How about you discover if I’m like them.” You look at Yuna.

In your head you ran the entire place 10 times. You are flirting with Itzy’s Yuna. You are nervous as fuck.

“We’ll see. Then.” Answers Yuna and grins.

Yeji looked what happened. Actually, the whole girl group watched you flirting with their maknae. Yeji stands between you and Yuna and starts shaking your hand. “You are the one that clapped for us, right? Let me thank you for that. We’d like to stay around but we actually just came here for a personal matter. We are going to the bar. It looks like you are about to leave this party, right?”

Her words weren’t even smooth. You were clearly kicked out. “Is that true? I see. Well, thank you for greeting me.” You say trying to sound as polite as you can. “Well maybe I should go…”

What you were saying is interrupted by Yuna holding Yeji’s arms with her hands. She starts pouting. “Unnie, please.”

Yeji’s answer is silence pretending Yuna said nothing. Yuna starts pouting again. “Yeji unnie, please. Besides he is a Midzy, right?” Yuna looks at you.

“Yeah. As I said I’m a big fan.” You add.

When Yeji says nothing again. And you think this is lost. Yuna uses his final technique her little kitten face. He is pleading looking directly at Yeji. Just as Pussy in boots in Shrek. You don’t receive fully the little kitten face but you see it by the side.

Fuck. You are willing to give your house if she asks you doing that face. And you start wondering why the governments and international organizations spent so much money training people like you to end wars. When probably all they need is the Yuna’s little kitten face. Dam even if she asks Putin to end the war. Will he say no?

Yeji tries to avoid her face or maybe just look at the others trying to find an answer. Ryujin just shrugs like saying I don’t care. Lia and Chaeryeong that were looking Yuna’s little kitten face just nod. Yeji sighs and says. “Fine. He can come.”

“Yaaaaaay” says Yuna. She takes your arm and pulls you to start moving. Then she releases so you can follow them.

That expression that she just used was the bubbliest yet the most attractive you’ve ever seen. And she touched you. You can die right now. You start walking behind them. You just can’t help and you take a peek at their asses. Ryujin has a really bubbly ass. Chaeryeong has the largest one and seems like is not that soft because has muscles around. Lia has the softest one like you can sleep there. Yeji has a cute butt. And finally, Yuna has a bubbly cute ass. She is using baggy pants but her butt can be noticed trough them.

While walking Yuna turns lightly her head to you to ask you. “Hey Mr. Diplomat how old… are you?” She paused because she noticed you looking her ass. You were caught in fraganti so you just looked at her and smile. “Well mmmmm… I’m actually 25 years old. International age I mean.”

After you answer Yuna says something to Yeji. Yeji also turns her head to you. Look at you and nods to Yuna.

All of you finally arrive at the bar. Ryujin asks for champagne for everybody including you. She didn’t ask any of you. She just ordered. Yeji slaps her arm. “Ryujin yaaa. Why do you always do that?”

Ryujin answers. “It doesn’t matter. All of us were going to drink that anyway. Right?”

You see around and everybody is nodding. It seems that the dominant Ryujin you see trough tv screen is actually a dominant Ryujin in real life.

“Let’s make a toast. Raise your glasses” Says Yeji. And by looking at the girls and you she is ordering you to do it. Everybody raises their glasses. “Our schedule didn’t let us to celebrate properly the birthday of our beloved maknae. Yuna we all love you.” At the end of this sentence. You start nodding hard. Yeji got quiet and looks at you. All the girls look at you too and then laugh. You blush. “Anyway…” Yeji continues. “Apparently everyone gathered here LOVES you Yuna. Happy Birthday.”

The girls take turns to hug Yuna. First Yeji, then Ryujin. You notice that everyone gets closer and say a few words in Yuna’s ear. When is your turn you gather all the courage in your body and swallow the nervousness and try to look cool. You hug her and whisper in her ear. “Is true indeed that everybody here loves you. Happy birthday. I wish you have a good time tonight.” She grins and whispers in your ear. “Well, you can help me to have a good time tonight.”

Shit. You think. I felt her chest during that hug. And now she says this I really can’t control my excitement.

And actually, you got hard down there. While you were hoping she didn’t notice it the hug ends and she looks down like looking for something.

It seems like she felt it.

Then the girls sited around the bar and ordered drinks. You took place beneath Yuna. She leaned on you.

“Oppa…” She says and you got surprised.

“Oppa?” You ask inmediately interrupting her.

“Yes you are older than me you are my oppa, right?” She questioned.

“Well yeah I can be your oppa if you want.”

“Nice. I want to ask you something. Can i?”

“Okay. But if is something that I can’t say because of my work please don’t use your little kitten face against me. I will give in and next thing will be that I’m fired.”

She laughs. “My what?”

“Ah I named your pleading face to Yeji-shi before as ‘little kitten face’”

“Because of Shrek?” She asks.

She gets me.

“Yeah. I just love that movie. But continue. Go ahead”

She continues “Anyway I’m not going to ask you something difficult, oppa. I just want to know what should I drink? I don’t have too much experience with that.”

“You are 19 now, right? What have you drinked before? and what did you like or not?”

“Well obviously soju. At first, I didn’t like it. But then I was into that. But tonight, I want something fancier.”

“You are lucky. As this is diplomat’s party. I think this bar has international beverage too. Have you heard about pisco?”

“What?! What is that?”

“Is alcohol is made from grapes: the green ones. And well is nice when you drink it with lemon and other stuff. The beverage is called pisco sour.”

“Well why not. Today I’m celebrating my birthday. If I pretend today is my birthday. This is my first time having 20 years. So today is the day of first times!”

“That’s the attitude!”

“Two pisco sours, please.” You ask to the bartender.

The bartender hands you two glasses. And you hand one to Yuna.

She sips. “This is like lemonade, right? Just at the end I can taste some alcohol. Is not that strong.”

You nod. “So did you like it?”

“Yeah, kind of.” Answers, Yuna.

A couple of glasses later you and Yuna are talking.

“You know what?” You start “I think diplomat’s life and idol’s life have something in common.”

“Why do you think that?” Asks Yuna.

“Well, your life is kind of controlled by someone: your company. In my case the embassy. I’m living here in this country just to work. And also, our opinions can’t be radical. Do you remember that time where Tzuyu waved her flag? The… Taiwanese flag?” Yuna nods. You continue “She apologized then. That means that no idol can give political opinions, right? Well, I can’t neither. I can’t say Taiwan is a country or say what I think about any president or government out loud.”

“Well… Yeah, It makes sense. So, you can’t hang out at parties too?”

You are so into this subject. “Well, if something happens like a drunk fight or something like that. I’m fucked up. Because in the headline will appear ‘The diplomat of this country got drunk and…’”

Suddenly Ryujin hugs you from behind and asks you. “Hey, since when Yuna is your bias? Have you fapped to her photos?”

You blush and start stuttering. “I-I-I D-d-d-didn’t do that!”

Ryujin laughs. “Mr. diplomat knows how to be cute!” She pinches your cheek. Then she says looking at Yuna. “Hey if you don’t achieve nothing with him. I’ll ask his number.”

Yuna hit Ryujin’s arms. “Ryujin-yaaaaa.”

You look at Yuna. “Achieve something?” You ask.

Yuna blushes a little bit. “Well did you remember before when we were walking to the bar? When you were… mmmm… looking my ass?”

You almost spit the pisco sour. Ryujin laughs. “It seems like Mr. Diplomat likes to stare asses. Did you peak mine too?”

Fuck Ryujin is so straight when she talks. This can’t be a mess. You must apologize. You think.

“Ammm… I do. Sorry.” You apologize.

“So who has the best one?” Ryujin asks you.

This brat knows how to make you nervous.

“Y-y-y-yuna” You answer stuttering.

“Well, I give up, Yuna. Mr. Diplomat is in love with you. I don’t get him. Everybody’s favorite is my ass or Chae. I’m leaving it to you.” Ryujin says while walks out to join the other members.

“Really?” Asks Yuna looking at you.

“Yeah. You are my favorite in everything! My ultimate bias.” You shout.

Fuck. It seems I’m really drunk.

Yuna stares at you and doesn’t say anything.

You blew up. She probably isn’t looking for a fanboy. You shouldn’t have drunk too much.

But she caught your arm and walks with you. You just follow her. “What happened, Yuna?” You ask.

She looks at you and keeps walking. “Today is the day of first times.”

She is leading you to the bathroom. She enters and locks the door.

You are in disguise. What to do now is pretty obvious but is Yuna so you are doubtful.

Before you decide anything Yuna kisses you.

Fuck. Is the best kiss you ever had. So this is how it feels when you kiss someone you really really like. Is like an explosion. Like there was nothing and then a big bang.

The kiss breaks. “Did you like it?” Asks Yuna.

You don’t answer just kiss her again. The sensation is something different. Like you can be here forever. But the night was just starting.

Yuna starts touching your back while kissing you. Then your chest. Your neck. She stops. “You don’t want to touch me?” She looks directly in your eyes.

“No, no. Is not that. Is just I didn’t want to ruin the kiss.” You say.

“Oppa. You know what are we doing next, right? I know you are not so innocent!” She says. And starts kissing you again.

Now you touch her. Her neck, her back you go down. Her delicious ass is being groped by your hands. You lean her closer to you by pressing her butt.

You start kissing her neck. “Yuna. You are so beautiful and cute. Your mouth, your face, your ass.” You press your hands in her butt harder. She just moans “Mmmmmm….” But then she speaks. “I can feel your dick poking my abs. Just like before when you hugged me.”

You press her butt stronger. So, she can feel it more. Then you lift her up by grabbing her legs and kiss her neck again. “Mmm… I want to see your tits, Yuna.” While being in the air she manages to take off her blouse. You see her lingerie and anxiously you start kissing around her tits. While she is trying to untie her bra. Finally, you receive in your view her heavenly boobs. Her nipples are totally pink and are like inviting you to suck them.

This is the best feast I’ve ever had.

You kiss and lick her tits while the only response from Yuna is “Mmmm.” When you left her legs touch the ground, she kisses you again and she kisses your neck this time. Now she is trying to get your formal shirt off. You start undressing yourself. She kisses your neck and starts going down till she is in front of your crotch. She is in her knees.

“Mmmm… I want to know if you are a big fan as you said.” She touches your crotch. And starts undressing your pants. Then she just puts down your boxers.

Your dick is hard as never was. When she puts down your boxers your cock jump off and slaps Yuna’s face. She looks at you and then stares your cock.

“It looks that you were right. You are the biggest”

Then she starts stroking. You just moan.

“I thought you said it was first times’ day.”

“Yes oppa. This is my first time with a foreign guy and my first time sucking cock big like yours”

She starts licking the tip of your cock.

“Oppa I’m starting to doubt if this can fit in my mouth.”

“Let’s find out.” You say. She nods and starts putting it in her mouth.

First the tip and then she tries to push deeper. Her mouth is full but there is plenty of dick left. She starts moving. You can’t deny that you had better heads before. But… She looks at you while sucking you. Then you are aware again that the one sucking you off is Itzy’s Yuna. So, you start to feel better. Fuck you could say that you are even about to cum. You caught her head with your hands and start pushing.

“Fuck Yuna. I can feel your throat!”

She just says “Mmmm mmmm” as she can’t talk.

“I’m going to cum. Fuck. Fuck.”

You start cumming and you relax the grip on her head. And she frees. Some of the cum goes in her face.

“Mmmm… You are rough, oppa. I like that.” She picks some toilet paper of the bathroom to clean her face. “But you know what this is only starting. I want that big thing inside me now.”

She starts unbuckling her pants and puts it down and also her underwear at the same time. She has a shaved cute pussy and is already wet.

“Oppa, fuck me.” She says and then she bends and you have a total view of her ass. That beloved ass.

“You want me to fuck you?” You spank her.

“Aah. Yes, oppa. Fuck me with your cock!”

You grin and start to play with your dick around her pussy. “Oppa, just fuck me already!” She says.

You put your cock inside her. And you feel tightness. You haven’t feel something like this before. “Yuna you are so tight!” You say. And try to go deeper. “Fuck Yuna really I’m not lying you are too tight!”

“Mmmm… No oppa is just that you are too big. Just keep going. Mmmm…”

You start going deeper in a slow pace. Finally, you get to get your full dick inside. Yuna is moaning already. “Yuna, prepare yourself”

“Whaaaaaaa… aaah… mmm… mmm” She starts moaning. You are slamming her in a rapid pace. And then she says “Cumming aaaah” You don’t slow down. And then she shouts again moaning again but this time her legs start to shake. But you don’t slow down.

Fuck you’ d love to see Yuna’s cumming face. But right now in exchange you have a full view of her cute butt and her pussy while your cock enters and disappears. She is moaning so hard.

“Aaaaah… Oppa. I love how you fuck me. You are really deep into me.” She says.

And is true is almost like your tip is kissing her womb. This tightness is almost like her walls are never letting you go. Like their insides are sucking you up. Is this heaven? The pleasure right now is out of this world.

While dreaming off, it happens you cum inside her. Fuck you really fast up the pace because now you are out of breath. Yuna stands up looks at you smiles and kisses you. “That was one of the best orgasms I’ve ever had. And really orgasms because it happened multiple times” Yuna says. “You are special and fuck you cummed so much”. At the moment white liquid starts to drip from her crotch.

Suddenly the door sounds. There are lots of knock knock and then a voice: “Yuna we need to leave now. They found out about the manager bribed. We will be waiting for you on the car outside.”

You look to Yuna. And she starts explaining. “Have you heard anytime about Itzy joining a party where they were having a show. Or have happened ever that the last entertainment show joins the party in your diplomat events?”

“Well… Being honest I never heard of that. And that never happened. I don’t remember that the fat lady singer ever joined the party after her show.”

“Yeah. That’s what’s normal. But we bribed our manager to tell JYP we were already at the dorm and we sneaked into the party.”

“So you weren’t invited to the party? And wait did you lie to Jyp?” You ask.

While this conversation was made Yuna started dressing up. As you see it you start looking for your clothes too.

Yuna answers “Yeah, that’s why we were just in the bar. I mean we didn’t want to catch too much attention. And also, we were with our stage clothes if we were invited, we probably were wearing some fancy dresses or something like that. And yeah, we lied to Jyp. He is nice but sometimes he is just a pain in the ass. You know if it was for him, I’ll be virgin even now.”

“Well yeah if you had gone to the main saloon, you probably had caught more attention. Then I must be really thankful for that bribe because if that wasn’t happened, this wasn’t happened.”

“Yes, oppa. And also, is thanks to Yeji. When you looked my ass, I was asking Yeji if I can be with you and she nodded. But sadly, I must say bye now. I really want to have another meeting with you and that big thing of yours.” She kisses you and continues. “and maybe we can try other things. You know Ryujin says that anal sex is way better than normal sex. But I don’t know maybe I need to experience it by first hand.” She hands you a piece of paper.

“Is your number?” You ask like pleading.

“Aww you can be a cutie pie too. Yes, it is. I must be going. Is better if I leave alone. Wait inside here and after a couple minutes leave. Ok?” She says.

“Yes. I’ll be expecting our next meeting.”

“Me too.” She kisses you and then leaves the bathroom.

That actually happened. You think. I had sex with my ultimate bias.

And now you remember all the things the view of her precious ass. Her eyes while she was sucking you off. The taste of her lips. Her essence. Her ass in your palms. Her surprised eyes when she saw your cock. The sensation of his tongue in your cock and her throat.

The sound of your phone wakes you up. Some text messages.

“Hey Oppa is Yuna. It seems like you weren’t the only diplomat getting fun. Ryujin also had fun with an argentinian diplomat. And he knows you, so the girls and I got his number and yours. Let’s have another meeting soon”

You smile. What is even better that you fucking your bias from Itzy is that your friend could do it too and maybe he even had anal sex with Ryujin. It seems that this kind of parties are not so bad.

#smut #yuna smut #male reader #itzy smut #kpop smut #kpop x male reader

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rottenbrainstuff · 5 months ago

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So as that lengthy Neil Gaiman article is passed around, I want to give you all a gentle reminder….

I’m not saying that it’s not valid to feel crushed when you hear about shitty things like this, but we all need to keep in mind there are no safe celebrities. There is absolutely not a single celebrity on the planet that you can trust to not learn some terrible secret about. This is because we don’t know these people personally. What we know is a curated public persona that they present.

It’s fun to be a fan of celebrities and to be enthusiastic about their work, but…. Just never forget, they’re not a mascot or a character, they’re a human. Don’t put them on a pedestal. The fact that someone can make funny tumblr posts says nothing about their personal life.

I just… I just see some people who are SO heartbroken about all of this, and I feel bad for you, I don’t know. It’s disappointing to me as well, but I never assume for an instant that anyone I fangirl over is safe. I think it’s healthy to keep some emotional perspective, keep some emotional distance, with our parasocial relationships. Maybe?

I think about meeting Neil Newbon at the Calgary expo last year and what a nice person he was to meet, the nicest celebrity I’ve ever seen at one of these cons, the nicest celebrity I’ve ever seen interacting with his fans. Even he, I would not put on a pedestal. As he said himself at his panel, what the public sees, this is a persona he presents and his personal stuff stays personal. You really do not know these people, at all.

Just… keep that in mind. And not just for celebrities. People in general are not either good and beyond reproach, or obviously bad and cancelled and discardable. If you view things this way, you will set yourself up for a world of hurt, because you will assume the people who don’t look obviously bad therefore can’t hurt you, until they do. (This is also where the “how could they have actually done that? They seem so nice, so I don’t believe you” comes from too)

I dunno. You know? This whole situation just gives me a lot of thoughts.

On a related note: I’m also sad to see some people say well this means they can’t be a fan of good omens anymore, or whatever…… look, that’s a decision that only you can make, but consider this. As I saw Wil Wheaton say, movies and tv shows are the work of a large team, so many different people all working together to make something they believe in: a producer, a writer, a director, an editor, the actors, the costumers, the numerous other crew I can’t even list here, all working hard and proud of their work. Learning that one person in that team is a piece of shit is not a nice thing to learn, but it doesn’t automatically invalidate the work that everyone else has put in. And thinking about this further, I’m going to guess that if you think one bad person contaminates an entire thing, you’re never going to find anything that is pure and free from contamination, because every large group of people is going to include some bad people in the bunch. (Please don’t come at me with JK Rowling stuff, transpanic georg is an outlier and should not have been included)

I dunno. I’ve been watching all of this shit unfold and thinking some thoughts for a while. Just take it away and think about it. It’s very disappointing no matter how you look at it, but I think we need to change how we view celebrities.

#neil gaiman

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twisted-wonderland-but-gayer · 2 years ago

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Hello there. I've seen your blog for a while but I'm finally requesting. What about a male yuu who has the personality of someone who looked into the eyes of God and fist fought him? A yuu who will kick someone's ass for breathing the same air as him. Azul and Leona don't stand a chance.

Fighty yuu to Idia and Malleus- Oh dear. Oh dear, gorgeous

Fighty yuu to everyone else- You fuckin donkey. *beats them with a chair*

Fighty Yuu

Oh yeah I also made Yuu stupid strong for the memes. I did the first 3 dorms cause I ran outta ideas. He him pronouns used

Ever since you first arrived at NRC, you have given zero fucks. After all, having constant visions about coming to NRC combined with the fact that you were woken up in a mysterious world after being kidnapped had already got you on edge. What really set you off, however, was the fact that nearly everyone around you was an asshole.

No seriously, you can't even have a good relationship with someone at this school without people thinking you're weird. On top of that, there's one dorm dedicated to being "alpha males". It doesn't help that everyone's mentality here is kill or be killed and the strong should rule the weak.

It only makes sense for you to try and blend in, right?

You truly tried to pick your battles sparingly. Truly. After all, fighting everyone would be a waste of time and energy, and yet on the very first day here, you had already gotten into your first big fight.

Forced to go to some dumb cave all because a trio of dumbasses already soured your mood. On top of this, there was now some sort of monster in the mines you were now in that wants to kill you, and unlike those three idiots Deuce, Ace, and Grim, you will have nowhere to go if you get kicked outta NRC.

This is how your main friendship trio soon learned about your fighting skills and knew even better not to mess with you. They even tried joking about it with their other dorm members who just brushed it off as an exaggeration… oh how wrong they were

Heartstabyul

It took everything in you to not jump Riddle the second he started insulting you. He wasn't worth it. Not in the slightest, so when given the opportunity to finally get back at him, who were you not to take it?

"Everyone evacuate the dorm right now!" Trey yelled out, guiding dorm members out of the front with Crowley as everyone ran from cover. "What's happening?!" Grim shrieks as Riddle's visible veins start to become black, a shadowy figure looming behind him as he changes shape.

"Overblot! It's an overblot!" Cater yelps, pulling Ace and Deuce by their sleeves to guide them out. "How do we stop it?" Deuce asks as he fights against Cater's tug. "You aren't seriously thinking of fighting it are you?" Crowley practically demands. "No, I'm with Deuce, we have to save him!" Trey pleaded with the Headmage as Ace butted in. "Yeah! I'm not letting him off the hook that easy!" Cater stared at his dorm mates, closing his eyes before sighing loudly. "Oh fine! I'll guess help, cay cay?"

"Wait…" you paused, thinking for a moment. "If we knock him out we can save him," you asked, glancing over at Crowley as the wind swirls and blows harder. "Well yes essentially—" The headmage didn't get to finish his sentence.

"Yuu what the hell are you doing?!" Ace squawks as you immediately charge Riddle. You practically pummel into the dorm leader, making him stumble back before swinging, getting a few quick jabs on him. You didn't even register the insults he spewed at you as he began summoning spell after spell to fire at you, which you dodged by sliding and flipping over.

The group behind you immediately acts as support while trying to get you to calm down. The battle was over quickly, much more quickly if you decided to try Trey's plan. Once the blot left Riddle's body, Trey immediately got to his side to start healing up every single bruise on his body…

"Who has the shitty upbringing now?" "Really Yuu? Right now?" Grim glared at you. "I'm just saying!"

***

Not many dorm members were there to witness your aggression, everyone sort of just thought of it as a joke. You're magicless, right? There's no way you did that much! Yet little did they know you were just getting started.

The Unbirthday Party afterward was a pretty good success, and you did apologize to Riddle for going a little overboard. (The group with you now knows to never cross you) and was an overall pleasant experience… up until someone invites you to play croquet against them…

There were many casualties that day.

Savannaclaw

"Sorry, you can't play with us Yuu, you don't have magic shishishishi!" Ruggie cackled as you sat down on the bench. "Beat their asses for me you four" You nodded your head over at Ace, Deuce, Grim, and Jack who were now fighting for your honor, investigation be damned.

Watching the boys was depressing. The four were completely uncoordinated. Running into each other and fumbling the disk. Idiots. It was their own faults they were so competitive. Through all the running and the spells, you overheard some snide remarks from the other team. Them insulting you is disrespectful. Them dissing your boys is a violation.

Ruggie flicks the disk over to Leona, who is poised ready to catch it. Merely inches away from his casting range, you snag the disk. Almost amused, Leona smirks. "You realize you're only allowed to use magic to make the disk float, Scavenger." The smugness in his voice was beyond irritating.

To prove a point, you slammed the disk through the air, sending the disk flying across the field and into the scoring ground, creating a small crater. "I don't need magic." You sneer at the lion whose eyes were wide before he narrowed them. "Come on guys, we're wasting our time."

Walking off with your squad, you don't miss how all the all Savanaclaw students you played against, especially Ruggie, gawk as you guide your homies off. The whole way, Jack asking how the hell you did that.

"Oh hes just like that Jack, shoulda seen what he did to Riddle!" Grim beams as Jack makes a mental note not to cross you.

****

The overblot incident with Leona was solved within minutes. Leona got got.

Octavinelle

You would think that Floyd, who is surrounded by two of the most informed people on campus, would know not to mess with Yuu. Chances are, however, that even if he did know, he would have actively sought Yuu out to mess with him anyways.

Floyd smirked down at your usual trio. "Crabby… Mackerel… and Baby Seal, ehe..!" The eel chuckles, satisfied with the name he has created for your group. "And then you…" Floyd turns to you, standing there with your cafeteria tray. The eel interrupted you before you were even able to sit down.

You keep your blank and tired expression as the eel approaches you in an attempt to intimidate. "You're a weird one, huh, little prefect?" You take a step back from him, trying to create a comfortable distance between the two of you. "Floyd, don't be rude to the Ramshackle Prefect now, that's unprofessional." His brother Jade gives his usual sadistic smirk as he places his hand on his chest politely, standing next to his brother.

"Aww but Jade! I'm just trying to give 'em a name… mmm…" You took another step back. "Hehe, the way your backing up reminds me of a lil shrimp!" Floyd laughs to himself. "I think I'm gonna call you Little Shrimpy hehe!"

"Um… OK... can I go eat now dudes? I have class after this…" A mischievous glint appeared in Floyd's eyes as his grin started to show his sharp rows of teeth. "Aww little Shrimpy is trying to be tough! How cute~"

"Don't call me that." "Oya? What's that?" Jade asked, his eyes narrowing at you as he smirks. "I said stop calling me that." Jade glances over at Floyd who absolutely beams. "Oh yeah, whatcha gonna do about little shrimpy?" You gripped your cafeteria tray tighter.

The twins looked at each other, chuckling, thinking you wouldn't do anything. Floyd leans in, voice dropping lower. "Well?" And like that, you slammed your tray into the side of Floyd's head.

The entire cafeteria turned to watch as you grab onto Floyd's hair and hit his head on the cafeteria tables and dragging him across the whole thing sending food trays flying in the air. The second Floyd got back his bearing he immediately started to kick and swing. You admit he did hit you pretty good a few times.

Your grip on his hair tightened as you continued to swing at him. The people in the cafeteria cheered at the sight, many chanting fight over and over. Every time Jade tried to step in both you and Floyd pushed him away.

It took a good amount of staff and your friends to separate the two of you. Even Azul had to hold back Floyd as he snarled fiercely, thrashing in an attempt to get at you. You ended up pulling out some of his hair as you both were forced away, he nearly lost his entire black locks of hair.

The Octavinelle trio will have to keep your personality in mind when it comes to future negotiations… Azul must make sure that his right-hand men stay by him when it comes to it…

Also congratulations! You unlocked a sparring partner!

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #jade leech x reader #floyd leech x reader #ace trappola x reader #deuce spade x reader #jack howl x reader #grim x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #cater diamond x reader #trey clover x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #ruggie bucchi x reader #wendellicious

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dtmsrpfcringe · 8 months ago

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the definitive dictionary and almanac of Tinhattery

hi, this will be a list of the main misogynistic accounts, definitions people have questions about, accounts you should follow and abbreviations— let’s gooo!! If you’re tagged in this I probably put you on the accounts to follow section. Adding a cut here because it’s long and gonna get longer

definitions!!!!

LCB- Used to stand for letscoffeebreak, she has since changed her username to dejadestalkearmeloser.

NGO- Nightgoodomens

Ingrav, Amy- Ingravinoveritas.

tardisrose- thetardisisblueandroseistoo

Tinhatters- A group of (mostly) tumblr users who think everything in these two relationships are fake and the women are abusive and the men want to run away.

Queeranoners- same as above, my favourite way to refer to them, coined by the amazing @theeminentlyimpractical

sheenbergs- Mix for Michael and Anna’s name

sheenbergnant- the amalgamation of the four bad bitches we love

sheenant- ship name for David and Michael. (Remember kids: shipping is cool but it’s fictional!!)

DT- David Tennant (Georgias husband)

MS- Michael Sheen (Anna’s boyfriend)

GT- Georgia Tennant

AL- Anna Lundberg

PR- public relations

GM- a…delegitimising way of referring to Georgia by refusing to use her last name. Instead use her maiden name. Note how they don’t refer to David as David McDonald

APAT- usually used by tinhatters (stands for Anna Plain And Tall) to refer to Anna Lundberg

PR (Tinhatter definition) - an omnipresent being forcing two rich white men who constantly champion human rights and lgbtq acceptance into a hetero relationship because they just are so oppressed and abused and not because they love their partners!

PR (actual definition) -the professional activities of an agency hired by a person, company, or other entity to shape, create, and manipulate that person/company’s public image. A public relations firm is often useful in helping a company manage its media reputation when a crisis happens, in order to attempt to minimize false information or slanderous statements which could damage reputations.

Shipping- Shipping (derived from the word relationship) is the desire by followers of a fandom for two or more people, either real-life people or fictional characters (in film, literature, television series, etc.), to be in a romanticrelationship. Shipping often takes the form of unofficial creative works, including fanfictionand fan art.

Shipping (Tinhat definition) - NO THEY HATE THEIR PARTNERS AND WANT TO FUCK EACH OTHER LOOK HE BLINKED IN HIS VICINITY THEIR PARTNERS ARE ABUSIVE I SWEAR

GREATEST HITS (posts that killed Tinhatters, feel free to submit your favourites in my inbox)

The breakdown of an anon

tassel jokes

backstreet cringe

Ingravinoveritas admitting it

Laurens amazing fuck off post that snowballed into half the fandom straight up saying fuck you to these people

HALL OF SHAME (Worst of tinhatters, again feel free to submit more)

• Taraiha’s rivals meltdown

NGO hates this fandom for…calling her out

it’s not a choice to be weird and creepy about people’s lives! (Again shipping is fine. This shit is not!!!)

it’s okay if you attack women just don’t criticise Michael Sheen (no idea what she was talking about with David) this same lady had another absolutely dog shit post I guess she removed?!

How dare women…have fun at their birthday parties?? (Part 1)

for a group constantly sexualizing David and Michaels every movement we can’t stand when a woman shows a little chest and has fun

Accounts you should follow!!!!:

@goodomenswarning - same purpose as this account, hilarious, an amazing friend

@badaziraphaletakes - calls out shitty takes in good omens as well, so much more level headed about toxicity than I am but I love talking shit with them. @thegeorgiatennantblog - best Georgia content

@fightingalgth8rs -bad bitches calling out extreme sexism

@phoen1xr0se - one of the best and I devour everything she posts

@davidtennantgenderenvy stands up for what’s right in the fandom, one of my idols and stuck up for me during a vulnerable time.

lmk more I need to add because I’m definitely missing some

THE REPEAT OFFENDERS (booo 🍅🍅):

Ingravinoveritas- one of the bigger ones, refuses to believe Georgia does anything nice for David, or that any of them actually like their partners. Can’t stop fetishizing gay male relationships to save her life. If David blinks he apparently wants to be bent over. Likes to pretend she’s not as bad as the others but has some of the wildest takes and said she felt threatened and scared for her life at someone making a Shakespearean reference. Professional victim

Nightgoodomens- a particularly nasty motherfucker. So toxic she’s quarantined. Misogynistic, ableist, um…yeah not much to say there except for the fact that apparently anything that David does that involves his wife means he’s forced into it. Would rather see them as abused puppies than accept they love their partners. Heavy on the homophobia and bi erasure since yes, fetishization isn’t allyship, it is homophobia. Everything is PR. She doesn’t know what PR means nor that David and Michael are not nearly important enough to have a 24/7 team controlling all social media and personal aspects of their lives. Neil gaiman apologist who blamed his sexual assault revelations on David’s support of trans people. Denies women flirting with each other and boils it to PR friendships??!?

Dejadestalkearmeloser- pretty much the same as nightgoodimens, flips shit when you call her out on it, I mean look at her pinned post about me and you’ll see. Also apparently I’m every account that doesn’t like her. Seems to have a problem with lesbians not liking her (wonder why lesbians don’t like the misogynistic people who only talk about the lgbtq community when it comes to fetishising mlm relationships)

Thetardisisbluesndroseistoo- flips shit at Georgia getting credit for anything, lost her shit on someone saying that Georgia has educated David on lgbtq allyship (he quite literally said himself that she does) later deleted posts when I called her out. Can’t stop laughing at that

invisibleicewands- really, really creepy about Anna, delving into her past and family to try and find…something. Body shaming. Mom shaming. The usual misogyny.

dtmsrpf- I guess a spoof on my name, belongs to one of the others on this list. The usual misogyny with a particular axe to grind against their looks and other things. Definitely a little salty.

georgiatennantunofficial (instagram)- extremely fucking gross. Body shaming and misogyny. Usual. You guys see a pattern yet?

#david tennant #good omens #michael sheen #sheenant #staged #rpf #anna lundberg #ineffable husbands #georgia tennant

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biancasaidstfu · 12 days ago

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https://www.tumblr.com/biancasaidstfu/784752393388736512/i-dont-understand-why-people-make-statements-like?source=share

If I may, like I do not want to start an argument and I can also understand anon's sentiment about the comment. Its true that Luke cannot control what the fans say or how will they react or even Nic's. No celebrity does.

But also this, some fans have been aware of Antonia's existence since October 2023 and there have been speculation of them being together. Then World Tour came and we all saw how Nicola and Luke interacted and I think we can admit that some of the interactions will literally raise eyebrows. Now, I do not know if its there own volition or not to continue to act like that all through out WT, or its just how they normally behave but I know some articles have said last year that confirming both Nicola and Luke to be publicly single. Now like why would they do that? To be honest, if they established a clear answer and boundary to the fans about the nature of the relationship it would prevented all the nasty things that happened after June 13.

I'm not saying Luke and Nicola are to be blame because after all, people react differently but my point is that they have the option how will the WT go. We cannot blame people for thinking they might be something more between them but we also cannot blame Nicola and Luke too for the result of their beautiful friendship. This is something they mutually decided to do, like the 6 month press. Frankly I'm grateful for it.

And Luke being real silent about Antonia last year, I feel like the other anon could have worded this better but guess what, Luke cannot control people's responses but what he can choose to do is being clear about Antonia. Like he can certainly end the floating narratives here and I do not know if his team advice him not to say anything last year, but I knew some people in my friend group have felt like since Antonia has been seen, they could have been straightforward and spill all the beans.

Luke's silence is not being shitty but rather an ill advice. He has the option how things will go on the World Tour but Antonia does not. So others felt like its really unfair to Antonia if, and if they are truly in a relationship as tabloids describe.

As much as Luke cannot control fans, he has the option to say something to make a clear boundary about his personal life, but Antonia doesn't. He may get criticized for it (as he should have not) but the price they pay for being a public figure is this.

Anyway, I wish people would have been gentle in nature as a response to something so negative but not every one here has the luxury to be kind too. After all we lived in a modern world where a lot of bad things are happening at the same time.

But let's not forget the people involved here are the people we chose to follow. Now I may have my opinions about the things that went down last year but newest events today have made me rethink about Luke's personal life. And with Antonia too. That bike skit screams staged to me that made my skin crawl.

Lastly, we cannot honestly escape the red string theory here when it comes to Nicluke. Like what do you mean we got Jakola carrot pap pics and now a banger figatoni's rendition of carrot pap pics came out? Please tell me that I'm seeing that right in Luke's basket. That's carrot isn't it?

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sophsicle · 6 months ago

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Okay, I understand hating Snape as an adult. He's a bully. But as a kid? As a teen? The result we see of Snape, him as a shitty adult, is an imperfect victim. Someone who had a bad life, made bad decisions, and was impacted by everything that happened to him. Not everyone can be abused, bullied, grow up in extreme poverty, and then pull through to be amazing people. SOME people can, and that's so amazing, but I don't think it's healthy to look at a child/teen with literally every social determinant of health against them and say 'well, they should've been able to do better'.

Does Snape suck as an adult? Yes. Did he also make decisions which saved Harry's life and allowed them to end the war? Also yes. Does he ultimately sacrifice his life for Harry? Yes. Does young Snape have a lot of potential, especially in spaces such as fanfiction, to explore the effects of one's upbringing and subsequent choices/life path (which you have explored so beautifully, carving out a life for a character in your stories with the very same themes)? Definitely.

I'm not saying he is a perfect person, or even a good guy, but a lot of people can and do relate to him as imperfect victims of bullying and abuse. Sometimes you can't rise above life's circumstances on your own, and you aren't this 'amazing' person. And that's okay. It's okay for victims of things like abuse to struggle, and it's good for people to acknowledge that things like bullying AREN'T okay and have lifelong consequences for their victims. Snape is a good example of what happens to a lot of people who aren't able to 'rise above' the things that happen to them and make mistakes. I think blind hatred for him is a very narrow-minded view, and ignores a lot of his story and nuances.

So two things a) I think perhaps you are missing some of the silly fun spirit I was attempting to infuse into my hatred of snape who is a character not a person

b) listen, I think snape is a super interesting character to play with because he offers a counter point to the marauders especially where issues of class are concerned, even the insults the marauders use against him, about him being "dirty" have clear class connotations and I think that allows you to critique the biases of the "heroes" of the story so to speak and that’s something I really like, so I’m not trying to suggest that he should just be dismissed because I don’t think he should be necessarily

What I am suggesting, is that JKR writes a grown adult teacher who abuses his students consistently and brutally for seven books (students he knows are already traumatized because the group he was a part of tortured or murdered their parents) and at the end of the series we are meant to forgive him because he loved a woman one time kind of maybe I guess

Now, fanfiction can do whatever it wants and make characters whoever it wants

But I have a fundamental problem with the way that snape is used in canon and the way that people accept that narrative

His behaviour as an adult towards the children he is in charge of is gross and unforgivable, but is absolutely forgiven by the narrative of the original text (without, I would argue, any of the nuance you are suggesting)

So I just find it less compelling to use fanfiction to continue to forgive this character

And like maybe if JKR didn’t explicitly write him as someone I was supposed to love I would feel differently, but because she does I don’t

I think you’re giving this character a lot more depth than he has

Which you totally can do with any character you wish, but for me, personally, not universally, cause there is no universal truth about a fictional character who does not exist, he deserves to be hated, in my opinion, again, cannot stress this enough, I’m not saying there is a right way to feel about this character because I don’t think you can say that about characters , but this is my way and I hate him and these are my reasons

Like you can hate characters without being narrow minded

I fear this is a thing you can do

#soph rambles

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crescentpaws · 8 months ago

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unprompted anti keefe post because i remembered this quote just now and got unnecessarily mad about it again. almost every reason i have to hate keefe can be seen in this quote from legacy btw:

“Isn’t this the epic showdown you’ve been planning where you order Tammy Boy to kill me? Thanks for the warning about that, by the way,” he told Tam. “As you can see, it worked super well.”

“keefe can keep a secret if it’s actually important” no the fuck he can not. this quote just proves how little he actually cares for other people. tam risked SO MUCH to pass along that warning to sophie, and keefe just casually mentions it in front of gisela. i can’t tell if he’s just really stupid or if he genuinely doesn’t care about the very REAL and very LIKELY possibility that gisela would literally kill tam for that. keefe casually decides to possibly condemn someone to death just to have a moment where he can tell his mom “i already knew what you were planning all along btw! lol! haha!” god he’s a fucking idiot.

then he has the nerve to say “as you can see, it worked super well” as if keefe didn’t SPECIFICALLY CHOOSE to ignore the message????? acting as if it’s tam’s fault that they’re in this position???

i get he uses humor as a coping mechanism, but all his comebacks to his mom just seem so stupid considering he is fully aware of what she is able to do. even if he knows she won’t hurt him, she is fully willing to hurt his friends. which he never seems to care about (unless it’s sophie, because for some reason sophie is the only person that matters to him. but clearly not even she really matters or else he would stop betraying her trust over and over and over again.)

reminder that the only reason they’re here is because sophie knew if she didn’t take keefe to london he would go by himself btw. which is just so. UGH. it’s not her job to be his fucking babysitter. how is that a healthy relationship

and then keefe has the nerve to be mad after tam escapes with gisela. like, you know, the literal exact same fucking thing he did with alvar in lodestar. except in keefe’s situation, he wasn’t a prisoner. he wasn’t wearing special bonds made of light that restricted his power. tam actually had a reason to go back with gisela. which keefe never did with alvar. but it’s ok! he’s allowed to be mad because it’s his mom! he’s allowed to be mad at everyone if they focus on the bigger picture instead of what will stop making him feel sad right this second! it’s ok for him to be mad because his mom is evil! but it’s not ok for fitz to be mad about them letting alvar go! because that’s different for some reason! trust me guys!!!!!!!!!!!

and don’t even get me STARTED on the final battle scene in loamnore. keefe is just so. oh my god. he’s so fucking aggravating. literally the whole group’s plan relied on the fact that keefe WASNT going to be there. he literally PROMISED he wouldn’t show up and try to take things over (like he always does). i seriously have no idea how sophie ever trusts him again after that. that would be my final straw. all he’s done is prove that no matter how much he swears he’s telling the truth, he’s just a manipulative liar 👍 it shouldn’t be sophie’s job to be constantly monitoring keefe to make sure he doesn’t do stupid shit like this. she shouldn’t have to be using her energy 24/7 worrying about what stupid thing he’s going to do next. that is not a healthy relationship.

and what do you know, keefe arriving at the scene was exactly what the neverseen wanted! gisela got to do what she was planning from the beginning!! and keefe acts like it wasn’t ENTIRELY PREVENTABLE.

god he’s just so stupid i don’t understand how any of these characters are able to remain friends with him. but whatever. keep glorifying his shitty behavior i guess.

#you know a character is bad when they get someone genuinely angry over a kids series #anti keefe sencen #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc thoughts #crescentpost

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sappho-ilmarinen · 1 month ago

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So... There's a hungarian X-Men parody comic series and it's as crazy as it sounds

There are currently five issues, two short tie-ins, one comic about the past and the first comic of the new five part line. Or so I'm aware. Alright, let's get into it because this shit is crazy.

-The title, X-Embörök means "X-Men" but in a very specific hungarian dialect, tied to the city of Szeged most famously. Which is where the story takes place.

-Everybody has hungarian names which range from weird to absolutly henious, in a good way, because it's a parody. It's meant to be like that. Most names are direct translations of the english ones, like how Nightcrawler is called Éjmászó.

-The civillian names are also funny as shit. We have Xavér Károly (Charles Xavier), Zsoldos Emil (Erik Lehnsherr, the name is not TOO similar but it FITS) and Szürke Janka (Jean Grey, szürke means grey. Also yeah, in hungarian the family name comes first.)

-One very glaring difference from the original comics is that everybody's poor as shit. It's Hungary, after all. Prof X runs a shitty mutant diner and stay in hotel (I guess) where the X-Men live. Magneto was an underpaid physics and chemistry teacher. Until he decides to take over the world again. (That's how the story begins.)

-They swear a lot, because, again, this is Hungary. Prof X routinly says stuff like "Well kids, this was shit."

-Both the good guys and bad guys have been retired since the fall of the socialist era, it's only now (2003 in the story) when they start working again.

-The good guys and bad guys are actually friends, because there are so few mutants that only they understand each other truly. Prof X and Magneto meet every sunday at the market and have sausages and talk about their ideas or play checkers.

-The idea of a mutant soceity is actually fairly developed, because it's said that most people don't notice them, but there are communities that are hostile, and it doesn't shy away from showing how a characters got lynched by angry mobs led by a priest for example.

-There's a slur to mutants, "mutkó" (it's kinda like mutie I think from canon) but it's also explored that mutants refer to themselves as such in a way of reclaiming it.

-It's also explored how mutants and humans can be jealous of each other, because humans want powers, but they don't recognise the downside of said powers and mutations, and that some mutants envy humans because they'd rather be "normal."

-There's a lot of lore detailed in each comic in the form of essays at the end and it's great, it really fleshes out the world. There's the first mutant group of the socialist era, great battles, having kids and not knowing about it, the usual.

Now, the characters:

-Dr. Prof. Xavér Károly (Charles Xavier): He is the prof all right. Has a strong Szegedi accent, wheelchair-bound, grumpy. Is a psychologist because he wanted a job where he doesn't have to work. Runs the shitty mutant diner. Honestly might be too tired for everything ever.

Egyszemű Óriás/Egyszi (Cyclops): It’s said he is a comic book nerd but there's not much going for him tbh. Lives with the Prof.

-Torkosborz (Wolverine): Raging alcoholic and massive loser. He cannot fight and he constantly sobers up because of his healing mutation. He hates that. Wears a cowboy hat for some reason? Lives with the Prof.

-Jégkocka (Iceman): Aaaand this is where I'm having problems. (What, you thought this hungarian comic series from 2013 was unproblematic?) So this guy is the youngest, and his main thing is that he thinks he's black. He’s not, he's a white dude. And he constantly goes on about how he is the "king of the ghetto" and shit. Everybody in the story finds him annoying and NOBODY humors him. He lives with the Prof, he’s the new guy.

-Szürke Janka (Jean Grey): She left the group and currently works at a hair saloon. The only X-Men with a working brain and both she and the Prof are wildly aware of that. She likes her civillian life and didn't really want to go back.

-Éjmászó (Nightcrawler): German accent, but hungarian name, so I assume he has austrian heritage. Currently homeless and cons people for money, so he doesn't have much of an issue of going back to the Prof.

-Zsoldos Emil/Mágnesvas (Magneto): Was in the original X-Men group, but slowly his and the Prof's ideas started diverging and he ended up being evil. He wanted to turn humans into mutants. But he retired, and works as a teacher, as written above. He has no money, burnt out as shit, so he just snaps one day and now he is evil again. He starts collecting his band of evil mutants.

-Titokzat (Mystique): Worked in the same hair saloon as Jean/Janka, but she decided to go back to being evil. Has a very skimpy evil dress but I think it's there because it's a trope and it's funny. Probably has the most braincells in the group. Does all the work, while Magneto is being lazy.

-Békaember (Toad): He has a sad backstory of being lynched a lot in his village. Now he has a wife (Margit) and they love each other very much. He works and stuff, but goes back because world domination is fun I guess.

-Gyújtogató (Pyro): The other character I don't like. They had to bust him out of a mental institute. He’s just weird and crazy, I don’t like it.

-Fűrészfog (Sabertooth): Was also in the og X-Men group, but he left. He is a vegetarian living in a forest, trying to make the animals eat corn. He initially doesn't want to go back but he does anyway.

Closing thoughts

Honestly this series is a wild ride. It's absurd, it's hungarian, it's weird. But there's obviously a lot of care put into it, and the creators obviously love it. One essay at the end of one explains that to create a parody you both have to know the source intimatly and love it dearly. I think these guys get it. Despite its flaws, I love this series because it knows what it is and doesn't try to be something it isn't. Give it a read if you can.

#ilmarinen.txt #PHEW OKAY THIS IS RAMBLY #xmen #x men #x embörök #hungarian xmen #xmen meta #xmen comics #long post #xmen parody #charles xavier #erik lehnsherr #scott summers #logan howlett #jean grey #kurt wagner #bobby drake #cant even tag all of them #anyway yeah this shit is like WILD wild

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sapphiresaphics · 3 months ago

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Nothing has proved to me more that people don’t actually mind oppressive systems in real life than oppressive systems in fiction.

For example, the four houses in Harry Potter. We are explicitly told that every witch or wizard that joins Slitherin eventually turns bad, or is a narcissist, or is in some way a shitty ass person. Likewise we are told the Hufflepuff are kinda the dumb ones that just sorta vibe. Even Grifindore aren’t really smart per-say, they just have more gusto and bravery than other houses. And like this whole system is designed to sort people into groups and we are shown that being sorted so early in your life is kinda fucking detrimental to the rest of your life?? Like it’s a fucked up system.

And then IRL people are INCREDIBLY LOYAL to the idea of being sorted into these 4 groups. And JK Rowling being a horrific TERF doesn’t seem to dissuade people from trying to figure out which house they’d belong to.

Then we have the subversive parody of Harry Potter in The Owl House and their Coven system. The covens are designed to seal off your magical power so you can never do anything other than that ONE piece of magic for the rest of your life. And you have to pick that covens track in high school at the latest.

This is seen as SEVERELY limiting on its own… but then it’s revealed that this whole system was designed to drain all witches of their life force and essentially KILL EVERYONE in a mass genocide.

And yet people IRL still like to imagine which coven track they’d be apart of.

Then there’s Severance with its whole dystopian horror concept of being able to separate your brain so you never have to experience work, or pain, or suffering… at the cost of forcing one half of your consciousness to ONLY EXIST to experience work, pain, and suffering.

One of the ways they keep the “innies” from rebelling is to tell them information about their “outies” lives. “Your innie likes to swim. Your innie is kind to strangers. Your innie always sneezes twice.” This is meant as a condescending way to control the innie by treating them like a fucking BABY.

And guess what I see every week when Severance comes back on? People in social media posting about how their “innies enjoys ____!”

It’s like we are HARDWIRED into tribalism and we can’t HELP but sort ourselves into these systems. Even when the stories and shows are telling us “THIS IS FUCKED UP!”

Is it any wonder then when Alt-Right Nazis realized they could harness this and made everything in the past 15 years about “us Va them” and makes all politics about being part of a “team” of some kind that people JUMPED ON BOARD to it?

#just a thought #severance #the owl house #harry potter

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b4mpyre-k1zz3s · 10 months ago

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The Jackass Guys Working in Fast Food HC’s!

Warnings: Suggestive content, crude language, drug use, tampering with food (and general bad food service practices)

An: This fic was largely inspired by this spot the guys did for the Arby’s Action Sports Awards, a concept which still eludes me to this day…

The awards show that invited the jackass guys to host had this sponsorship deal with some fast food company,

And, as written in tiny print on the contract, the guys ended up getting roped into something they’d never thought they’d have to deal with:

Working in food service.

Johnny

Given his position as the leader of the group, Johnny is kinda the manager by default

Partially because he’s so charismatic and partially because he just has pretty privilege so customers can’t get too mad at him

So when the drive through window gets stuck, guess who’s running orders outside?

He was the most responsible one and often takes up the job of cleaning up the dining area,

Even though he did have a tendency to clean off tables while people were eating or sweep a little too close to the patrons,

“Uh, scuse’ me, ma’am…Feet up, please.” And they never seemed to mind!

In fact, anytime someone got their order messed up, guess who they send in?

“I really am sorry for the inconvenience, sir,” Knoxville shoveled about twenty apple pies into a bag as turned to speak over his shoulder to the pissed off customer

“But I just wanted the order I paid for-”

“Shh…Just between you and me.” Johnny nudged the bag closer to him with a wink, “Go ahead- take it! I gotcha.”

And he actually took it.

Bam

“What’re you- some kinda wussy?” Bam had a tendency to shit talk customer’s orders, often pressuring them to size up,

“C’mon, be a man! You know what, dude? I’m just gonna put you down for a large combo…”

God forbid a customer is rude to him because holy shit. Bam is a master the guerrilla food terrorisim!

He has 100% spit in a guys onion rings because he yelled at him over the drive thru

And you bet he served them with a smile

Even though Bam has that whole line cook look, he’s maybe the worst person you want to have working at your restaurant.

It’s pretty rare that he gets sent out to register duty (due to the fact it takes him forever to make change)

But when he does, he just looks so disheveled from working in the kitchen

I’m talking condiments on his apron, pieces of meat just…hanging off of him, which obviously raised a couple eyebrows

“I mean- I was in the kitchen. I was workin’ hard back there! Can’t you tell?”

Steve-O

Steve couldn’t help but grin to himself when the angry customer over the drive through sarcastically asked him if he was ‘on something’

“Yes, sir- I am.”

Completely opposite to Bam, Steve is the closest thing they have to a model employee due to his experience working shitty jobs

If you order a four piece nugget, and he’s making it, count on getting a fifth one every time because he knows he would be pumped if he got one.

Point is, Steve is the fast food employee everyone loves, and that extends to his work at the counter

When all the guys are hustling to get orders out on time during a rush, guess who’s out there doing clown tricks to keep customers entertained?

Doing backflips off of the counter and juggling condiment packages to keep people happy people while whistling that one circus theme

“If you like the condiment stuff, wait till you see what I do with the drinks!”

Chris

“Welcome to Arby’s! Can I tempt you with my- I mean, our meat?”

Him and Steve have competitions as to who can say the most out of pocket thing over the drive thru speaker. He’s in the lead (for obvious reasons).

One of the best ones he came up with was when he was told to advertise the new dessert offerings,

“Are you sure you don’t wanna try one of our pies? The cream is delicious.”

Him and Steve are inseparable, usually spending more time fucking around in the kitchen than actually preparing food

So when, in the middle of a rush, the mayo gun Steve was using gets jammed and (despite his very skillful efforts to fix it) explodes all over him, Chris has a lot to say,

“Oh my god-” He turned to where his buddy was standing there, stunned, “Steve. Is this your man-aise?”

The customers could hear their laughter from the kitchen.

And speaking of Steve, Chris came up with a few tricks of his own to pull when he’s on register duty

Like walking out with two burgers stuffed in the top of his apron like boobs,

“Can I take anybody’s order?” He looked around the restaurant like nothing was amiss as he adjusted the twins.

Ryan

“Welcome to Arby’s, where the world’s a better place…” Ryan sighed, reading off the drive thru script for the fiftieth time that day,

“Whaddya want?”

Ryan hates dealing with customers and, in the middle of a rush, went out for a “smoke break”, which really meant he was going to hide in the freezer until his shift was nearly over

“Really, Ry?” Bam raised an eyebrow at the ice crystals in his beard, which only tipped him off that something was amiss because it was June.

Kinda similar to how Steve and Chris have their drive thru routine, him and Bam tag team on food sabotage, only Ryan’s arguably less gross

Like the worst he’s ever done was take a sip out of a guy’s milkshake before he gave it to him.

It isn’t that hard to believe given the fact he introduced the guys to using “God’s Tongs”

(if you don’t know, is a nice way to say picking up food with your hands)

In fact, everyone remembers that one day a customer was complaining to him that their burger arrived without a bun, holding out the bare patty to show him,

“Alright- I gotcha.” Ryan took a few steps back, grabbing a top bun from the back, and he just chucked the thing at the guy!

That top bun landed perfectly on top of that burger.

#jackass #bam margera #johnny knoxville #steve o #ryan dunn #chris pontius #jackass fanfiction #jackass fanfic

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